We played together for years, then went our separate ways. I saw him at my tenth or eleventh-grade graduation, and we got to spend some time reminiscing about our days together at the preschool. That’s when it really struck me that if I hadn’t decided to overcome my shyness and actually talk to him, we never would’ve become friends. But there is another way to see friendships, the right way to make friends if you will. Friendship is something that anyone can do.
It is something that you can learn and develop over time. It’s something that will require practice and persistence. It’s also something that won’t just happen.
Friendships are forged through work and care—and this can be learned too! So, in an effort to help you become better at making friends in college, I offer these eight tips. These are things that have worked for me.
And while I’m not going to claim they will work for you or everyone else, they’re things I know you should be doing anyway. How To Make Friends In College is a comprehensive guide that will teach you how to make friends at college and beyond.
This is an easy-to-follow guide that will teach you how to become the type of person that other people want to be around! It’s the very same with making friends in college.
While you can’t force or manufacture friendship, you can seek and cultivate it. It isn’t completely out of your control. In fact, since it’s such an important part of living a happy life, it’s something that you put on autopilot at your peril.
You don’t have to be someone’s best friend, but it would also be a shame if you weren’t able to forge true and lasting friendships at college. A lot of people have difficulty making friends in college.
The three main reasons tend to be they are afraid of rejection, it’s too hard to approach a group of strangers and introduce themselves, and they don’t know where to start. Friendship is one of the most wonderful and enriching parts of life.
It exposes you to new possibilities, ideas, opinions, perspectives and can improve your quality of life. You can learn new things about yourself and what you want in life. I have been able to meet many new people with this approach and it has helped me professionally as well.
A lot of people think that staying in all the time is a smart way to never make any friends. The thing is if you are out there making an effort to meet new people you will run into a lot of friendly ones. I know many people who say they are introverts and dread going out most of the time but I’ve learned that if they actually go out they are really good at meeting people and they get a lot out of it.
Why You Have The Friends You Do
There’s another thing your school and neighborhood have in common, though: they’re both limited. For example, you probably had friends from different age groups at your elementary school, but once you graduated, they sort of went their own way.
And after high school graduation, your childhood friends were scattered to the winds. This is why you can see an ironic result when people lament the Facebook friend system while simultaneously complaining about how many friends they don’t see enough of in person.
Because most of us never really had a true “friendship network” until our adulthood – we just had overlapping groups of people we met in different places as kids. Despite all these factors, a lot of what we consider the “randomness” behind who we choose to be friends with in school is really just an effect of proximity.
It’s not that these people aren’t actually interested or compatible with us; it’s just that we didn’t get to know them and have the chance to evaluate how compatible they are. It’s like people dating with an online site based on looks before really getting to know the person. You can put two people who are a great match together and still end up with two failed relationships.
A lot of times, two people will have more in common with each other than they do with other people. For example, let’s say Jane and Adele both like to fly-fish on the weekends. They both like taking long walks around the city, admiring the gorgeous skyline.
They are both interested in small business ownership, and they love learning. This means that, as human beings, they can relate to each other much better than either of them could to someone who doesn’t share such similar interests–like maybe Malcolm or Kira. So all of this is to say that we’ve conflated friendship-as-social-networking with friendship as people you spend lots of time with.
And it’s given us a list of ways to think about friends that don’t really hold up. But they sure do make us feel good and comfortable. If I had to pick one, it would have to be the friends you make through traveling. Travelling isn’t just about seeing a new place, but meeting people and making meaningful friendships with them.
Yesterday I met another student at our hostel who is from England, and we ended up talking for four hours about everything from movies to world events. Your professor might say you’re supposed to spend your time in college focused on your studies.
But the truth is that it’s only through making friends and socializing that you can gain the full experience of college life that will help prepare you for the rest of your life. Sometimes things get hard and you feel like they might not work out. This is ok! You’re human, and feeling this way is totally normal. But it’s important that while in the midst of those hard times, you don’t stop moving forward and keep fighting for what’s right. It might be tempting to give up when something bad happens or to avoid taking risks for fear of failure, but you can’t let that happen. You have to push through because if it was easy, everyone would be doing it.
How To Make Friends With Intention
After all, shouldn’t friendship be one of those things that just kind of happen? We see people whose lives look so full and rich. They seem to have friends everywhere. You might even hear them talking about how they “grew up with these people” or “you are just lucky to have that kind of friend.”
It makes you wonder if this is the way friendship happens (we will talk more about this myth later, don’t worry). But I’m here to tell you it’s time to make friends with intention. And what that means is, it’s time to get out there and hunt around, take action, and let the universe reveal a few people who would be good friends for you.
Being intentional about your relationships means you’ll be able to discern which friends are hurting you, rather than helping you. It sounds harsh, but I believe it’s honest. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to cut toxic people out of your life so that they no longer have a negative impact on you.
Making friends is an essential part of a fulfilled life. If you don’t have friends, you are quite the anomaly. Let’s think about that for a minute. A great resource is someone who both wants and needs your help.
These people will rarely approach you first, almost to a tee. They need something from you because it’s their livelihood. So I’ve decided to make a list of places for you to meet new friends and also share my own stories.
The businesses in this list are either place where I’ve met friends or places that have a culture that is likely to bring people together. I believe there are a lot of businesses not on this list that could also work.
Get Out And Make Some Friends
Making friends and maintaining them can be challenging for anyone, but not impossible. If you make an effort, you can do it. The rest is up to chance, and the help of your friendly human support system. Everyone needs friends — no matter who they are. So go out there, try something new and make some friends.
And if you have any questions about making friends or getting over your introverted personality. The point isn’t to get your entire life overhauled in one day. The goal is for you to find just one meaningful connection, and that’s it.
Find out where they hang out and join them. Help them improve their business or career. Chat with them about their life and how they’re doing. It doesn’t matter if you’re an introvert or extrovert; it doesn’t matter how many friends you currently have. Everyone can benefit from adding one new meaningful friendship to their life, especially when it makes you happier, more social, and better at your job.
After reading this article, you will have a clear plan to meet new people. You’ll never question whether or not it’s worth it to make new friends again. You’ll be able to walk into a party and close some social circles.
Most importantly, you’ll come out of this article with the confidence in yourself that you can go out and meet new people. There are a ton of amazing things happening in your life right now, and you need to start experiencing them!